Transformation

As I watched "The Biggest Loser" season finale tonight, I found myself thinking about transformation. I am not a regular follower of this show, but tonight my eyes welled up with tears as I saw a 63 yr. old man named Jerry. Jerry was watching a video of his former self - almost 370 lbs., inflicted with diabetes and high blood pressure, gasping for breath during his first workout, fainting, and needing to be taken to the hospital. His comment after the clip finished was "I don't know that man anymore. That man is gone." Now over 140 lbs. lighter, Jerry doesn't have diabetes anyone, Jerry doesn't gasp walking up the stairs, Jerry is able to play with his grandchildren and care for his wife. Jerry has been transformed.

Transformation on the outside is easy to see. But what about inward transformation? How does transformation happen? Am I the same girl who moved to Seattle almost a year ago? I probably look about the same, but inside I feel different. It happened subtly and slowly, but somewhere in the midst of working at an arts college, moving in with four of my best friends, and sharing Seattle life with the man of my dreams, I have changed.

In some ways, transformation comes with grief - the knowledge that I will never again be who I was. Jason and I went back to Sioux Falls about a week ago and I felt some of that grief. Sadness for dear friends left behind and familiarity in so many ways, yet not the familiarity of home. Life has changed. We can't go back. But like Jerry, I don't know that girl anymore. That girl is gone. Transformation means believing in a God who can change my mind, heart, and soul as much as losing 100 lbs. changed the lives of the "Biggest Loser" participants. Transformation means appreciating the past by embracing the future. Transformation means trusting that anything is possible in this city that I have come to call home. Transformation can be subtle or dramatic, but the result is the same. We will never be the same.

Just an average day...

The air is chilly and damp, a typical Seattle day, as I walk to work. It is the walk I take each day, passing the woman with six cats, the homeless teenagers camped in the park, and the man living in a brown and white van parked on the street. I am alone with my thoughts and the simple sounds of nature in the city I love.

I have grown to appreciate these five blocks from my bus stop to the college where I work. I enjoy the quiet of the morning, with the mist all around. It gives me a chance to think, typically about the book I have been reading on the bus. Lately I have been reading a series of books by Brian McLaren that has slowly begun to change the way I look at the world, myself, and my faith. As I explore the pages of "A New Kind of Christian" and "The Story we Find Ourselves in" I am discovering a new vision for my life. I can't quite explain the change, except to know that God is teaching me about His plan of redemption, not just for individuals, but for our world as a whole. For so long I have focused on defending my faith and producing an answer for any question about the Bible that I have missed the life of abundance and joy that Jesus wishes for everyone. For the first time in my life, I am comfortable not knowing all the answers. My story of faith, hope, and love is so intertwined with God's ultimate story to reconcile all of us to himself, that I can't help but feel excitement at the work He is doing in the world.

One of the changes that I have noticed is that I know longer feel the need to correct everyone who is not living exactly the way that I think they should. By accepting and loving all of the unique people that are in my life, God has allowed me to share some amazing conversations with co-workers that would not happen if I had approached these people with condemnation. I am still learning, but I believe that mercy always triumphs over judgment! Pray that this theme continues to permeate my life.

Since I haven't blogged for a while, you are probably wondering what I am up to here in Seattle:) Basically, I have been working a lot. I still love my job at Cornish and am enjoying getting to know the students and staff there. Artists are always unique and the music and lives of our students never cease to amaze me. There is so much talent at Cornish and I know I am meeting some of the great musicians of the next generation. My days consist of scheduling, advising students about their class schedules, making programs and posters for events, meeting the needs of guest artists that come to visit, supervising work study students, planning concerts, and much, much more. I love the busyness and enjoy feeling like my work is making a difference to a great institution.

I attend a class with Jason every know and then and I am confident that MHGS is the perfect school for him. The professors speak with such passion and joy and I know that Jason resonates with the teaching he is receiving. Sitting in class, knowing that I don't have to write any papers or read anything that I don't have to, is so fun:) It is refreshing just to enjoy the lectures. I wish I could go more often, but my work keeps me plenty busy.

Other than work, my time is filled with relationships. I have made friends with a wonderful group of women and we meet every Monday night to do a bit of Bible study and pray together. The treasure I have found in these friendships cannot be expressed in words. God has been so good to us here. I do miss our friends in Sioux Falls and feel some sadness thinking about that life that now feels so long ago. However, I never doubt that this is the place we were meant to be at this time and continue to pray that God uses us to engage the culture around us and challenge those we encounter to embrace the best way of living: the way of Jesus Christ. It is by his grace and for his glory that I live and learn to love. I guess when you are a follower of Christ, no day is just an average one.

The Case of the Missing Crock Pot

We have lived in Seattle for over a month now, and although we are mostly settled, there a few things that I haven't used since we moved in. Last week I was planning to make my mother-in-law's famous recipe "Pork chops with mushroom soup", but when I went to find my Crock Pot, it was no where to be found. I looked in every cupboard in our small kitchen, but I just couldn't remember where I had placed this slow cooking machine. I convinced myself that it was probably just in a box in storage and decided to cook something else. When I got home from work that night I sent Jason to look in storage and...nothing. He came back empty handed! Then we went down together, (because of course I didn't believe him that he couldn't find it) and...nothing. Now, those of you who know me well know that I can become a bit obsessive (ok that's an understatement) about lost items. I began frantically looking everywhere in our 650 sq. ft. apartment. I even called my mother-in-law, hoping that since she helped unpack my kitchen, she might remember where we had put the Crock Pot...nothing! My memory wasn't any help either...my mind had placed that thing in ten different places! After taking every last box out of our neatly organized storage, I finally gave up on ever finding the object that proves "the best things in life take time." Jason and I made up extravagant stories about the individual that must have "stolen" our Crock Pot, but I knew I would only feel better if we bought a new one. Two stores and forty dollars later, we owned a brand new steel and sleek black Rival Crock Pot. It works great, by the way.

That brings me to this evening...Jason and I went down to our storage to get a couple of books that are living in a box that is "just books and nothing else." As Jason is digging through the mound of books he starts to laugh. "Here's the Crock Pot," he said. Buried underneath all the books, was my old flower-covered Slow Cooker. There it was in the box we were positive was "only books." We had a good laugh realizing that even if you think you have looked everywhere, there is always one more place.

If the best things in life take time, I have learned my lesson. If I hadn't been so hasty to fix my problem and had just waited a few days, I would have found my trusty Crock Pot. Now I own two! Let this be a lesson to my obsessive compulsive behavior. Crock Pots can teach us a lot about patience!

A Taste of Independence

So for the past two weeks, Jason and I have been pretty much inseparable. In part because we are crazy about each other and in part because we don't know anyone else:) Nevertheless, today I made some big strides in independence in this new city. My first solo city bus excursion was successful! I started my new job today at Cornish College of the Arts as the new Music Department Coordinator and even though Jason said he would accompany me on my travel to the school, I wanted to prove to myself that I could get around the city by myself. So, I planned out my route and everything was going fine until I missed my connecting bus. I tried not to panic, but I must have looked concerned because this man with a patch over one eye and a cane with skulls on top (I swear he was a pirate!) asked if I was lost. He told me where to get on the next bus and I arrived at my new job on time. I also made it home just fine in case you were worried.

It is too soon to tell, but I think I am going to enjoy my new job. The previous Department Coordinator has been at Cornish for eight years and so I have some big shoes to fill, but I believe I am up to the challenge. The benefits are great - 20 days of vacation in my first year in addition to the standard holidays. Everyone has been very nice so far, so I am off to a good start.

Besides the new job, another huge answer to prayer happened tonight. I was invited by a girl in my apartment building to a small group she host at a local coffee shop. I went tonight and met ten incredible, unique, and diverse women. It is so good to be forming friendships and I was truly blessed by our conversation and time together. New friendships are so special! I am even spending the day tomorrow with one of the women I met tonight. God is so good!

God has been so gracious to us in this new place. We are incredibly thankful for the joys God is bringing into our lives each day. My taste of independence today was a great confirmation that soon I can call this place home.

A New Start

My husband Jason and I just moved to Seattle, WA from our home in Sioux Falls, SD about two weeks ago and if this new start for us isn't enough, I am starting another something new: a blog. I am twenty-six years old and have only moved one other time in my life and change is always scary. Nevertheless, Seattle is an exciting place blooming with possibility. Jason is attending a Foo Fighters concert tonight at the Key Arena and I figured there is never a better time then the present to begin a new project.

For the past eight years, I have lived in Sioux Falls, SD. I left my home in Mott, ND after high school to attend college there. The University of Sioux Falls will always hold a special place in my heart for, in many ways, the lessons I learned there and the people I met, molded me into the woman I am today. Besides, I have to love the place that indirectly led me to the love of my life, Jason.

After graduating with two music degrees and living in a college dorm for most of the past eight years, I am ready to embrace my love of the arts and pursue a career based around music. I have always loved to sing and am looking forward to the possibilities in a city so richly grounded in the arts. So far, I do not have a position here, but I am trusting the Lord's leading and patiently pursuing one job in particular.

Speaking of college dorms, it is very quiet in our new apartment building, which is something I have not been used to for a very long time. With seventy or more students living in community with us in a college dorm for the past two years, it is quite the change to go hours without anyone knocking on our door or screaming outside our window. Surprisingly enough, I actually miss all the ruckus from time to time. However, I am excited to watch our neighbors walk by with a twelve pack of beer and say to myself, "They can drink all they want and I don't have to do anything about it." Ah, the days of being an RD are but a sweet memory.

We do miss our friends in Sioux Falls and pray that God will lead us to some wonderful people in our new home. I am excited to find a church and embrace the life that God has called us to here. We love our new apartment and enjoy learning new things about the city everyday. Jason bought me flowers at the Market today, only adding to the sweetness and beauty that I love about him and about all God has for us as we begin a new start.